i want i want!

Assalamualaikum & good day!

Cekgu Farah pernah kata, blogs can help you polish up your English. Jadi memandangkan ada hasrat untuk polish English saya yang makin ke longkang pada ketika itu, saya pun menulislah dgn bahasa Inggeris. Tapi macam ada restriction sikit kalau menulis dalam bahasa orang England pabila bukan native speaker. Jadi pernah fikir nak buat lagi satu blog dalam bahasa Melayu, tapi difikir2 balik;

1) macamlah tadak entry rojak dalam Royal Ramble sebelum ni.

2) macamlah byk masa nak mengupdate more than one blog acct. Yang satu ni pun cepat berhabuk.

jadi mari kita berbahasa ibunda! (err...rojak actually) ;P

Saya sebenarnya tgh survey kasut tennis untuk menggantikan kasut lama. (sedih main kasut pinjam aje...) Jadi sekarang mahu beli :

Adidas Barricade 5

or

Reebok Volo DMX

But then these two seems a bit out of reach. So if (financially) i can get any closer to a Reebok, it might be this:

Reebok DMX (mega/not)

Saya akan bersyukur..

I was thinking to set out for them tomorrow jugak wif Mr.Didi Aiman, but then he's coming here to pick me up so we might not shop around anywhere in KL or Selangor where there'll be more choices (coz it'll seem ridiculous for your guy to drive all the way to pick you up just to bring you shop for shoes in his town which is a two hours drive BACK and then drive back to send you home). So..i'll go look for them on Saturday instead.

Don't have plans yet for tomorrow but whatever! He'll be HERE WITH ME~~ and we'll take our own sweeeeet time together. Where and what i just won't care~~ i think. ;P

Okies better off to sleep now. Takmo jadi macam hari tu..Didi da sampai depan pintu da baru nak bersiap. Need outfit pairings lagi ni..aiyak.. Nitey nite.

.one time.

Cute. I thought it was a girl singing, despite the lyrics. Turn out to be the 15 year old Justin! With the wordings, i think he's utterly cute. :)

Plus i'm in a really good mood today. So every songs that come into my ear has really tune up in me. Be it classical to RnB.

Have got nothing to say actually. Just that i am in love. :)

and by the way,

I can reach my dream too.

where is my rainbow?

When you cry and cry and cry

And the sky cries with you

You'll miss your sunshine

And the two days went by

With you just crying harder.

Iliana. 1800.

.stupidity beyond any reversed brilliance.

Tidakkah dia tahu betapa sakitnya aku?

Buat aku rasa tak percaya pada diri sendiri,

Janjinya yang dah dimungkiri.

Aku dah tak dapat cari apa yang mungkin.

Yang lain, sudah tak dapat diterima logik akalku.

Sekarang ada dua kemungkinan. Salah satunya - aku yang bodoh.

Salah aku yang kecil ini.

Bila secara automatik sembunyi dalam topeng asli.

Aku fikir, aku memang pandai 'berkonfabulasi'.

Bila terlalu sakit untuk realiti.

Komputer pun tertipu.

Siapa berani kata yang sekarang, aku gembira?

.IKLANEKA.

Tuan-tuan & puan-puan,

Kalau anda boleh;

1. Jadi patung sementara

2. Bawa roh jauh2 dari jasad untuk sementara

3. Potong keluar hippocampus dan amygdala anda buat sementara

4. Autopilot diri anda untuk 2 bulan dalam setiap tahun

5. Liquid-nitrogenkan jantung anda buat sementara

6. Hidupkan semuanya kembali kepada keadaan normal dan tempat asal selepas
  2 bulan (mungkin lebih, dan kemungkinan itu 99.8%)

Tolong daftar dengan saya.

Anda mungkin calon yang tepat untuk satu peranan.

Iliana. 0500

It's post-war. It's suppose to be different.

It was time of the year again.

The boy has the dream.

His treasure was at the base of the pyramid.

The boy shall go in pursuit of his dreams.

And the girl shall wait.

She is the woman of the desert.

The women of the desert shall always wait for their men.

The strong women of the desert.

Their men are to wander as free as the winds that shape the dunes.

The dunes are altered by the wind, but the desert never change.

But sometimes, desert takes the men away, they don’t always return.

So the girl may cry.

She is the woman of the desert.

But above all, she is a woman.

Her treasure is him.

Iliana. 0020.

Accusation = Harm?

This evening was the video presentation session of psychosis in our class. Dr. Wee has shown us two videos on schizophrenic patient and we were to analyse the presentation / manifestation of psychotic problem in the patient during their one-on-one interview with the doctor.

I have to admit (sadly & with guilt) that i wasn't at all serious with the session at first. What i observed was just how scary-looking the female patient was, with the long banshee-like hair and a voice that.....well, it gives me goosebumps. Then the doctor asked us what were the findings of the patient, and i snapped back into class and tried to pay more attention. The second patient was a man, claiming that his mummy accused him of stealing money, lotsa lotsa money. I was trying to give term to the findings, that i realised i have problem in analysing psychotic patient. I don't know his affect. I reckoned it was blunt, but then what if he was just a bored patient who was bored being interviewed over and over? Coz he has the proper body language of being bored, flexing his neck backward, slowly battling eyelashes and all. Can we state affect by body language or it has to be just the face? In his statement, he said that his mummy accused him of stealing money. Okay, maybe true, maybe delusion, has to confirm. If it's a delusion, what category of delusion is that persecutory, guilt-or-sin? I tried to ask Dr. Wee, but maybe the way i delivered my question made it turned out a bit not quite. He asked me back my opinion, so i went, "err..persecutory delusion?" And he said that he'd agree. So i was like..hmm..okay.. I thought that persecutory delusion was just limited to physical harm like, poisoning, killing, beating. So (rupa-rupanya) it's just the issue of my poor vocabulary. ;P

Persecutory delusions: These are the most common type of delusions and involve the theme of being followed, harassed, cheated, poisoned or drugged, conspired against, spied on, attacked, or obstructed in the pursuit of goals. Sometimes the delusion is isolated and fragmented (such as the false belief that co-workers are harassing), but sometimes are well-organized belief systems involving a complex set of delusions ("systematized delusions"). A person with a set of persecutory delusions may be believe, for example, that he or she is being followed by government organizations because the "persecuted" person has been falsely identified as a spy. These systems of beliefs can be so broad and complex that they can explain everything that happens to the person.

Read more: http://www.minddisorders.com/Br-Del/Delusions.html#ixzz0XCZRezVd

.jolly mownin, with gwen stefanie's on!.

Assalamualaikum and good day! :D

This should be posted yesterday, but since the internet connection was a bit off, i decided to go to bed early nstead.

Remember i said that it'll be a good day yesterday? As i reckoned, it went well. :) Actually just common routine were done, but somehow the emotion that i went through the whole day with was a bit exceptional (amygdala yang sihat?). The second day in psychiatry block made a bit more sense to me now. The lectures were rather apprehensible than the 1st day. Maybe it was the prejudice that i had in mind even before the week started made my first day of psychi boring and my lecture hours filled with deep sleep. (-.-") Yet during the 'illusional' lectures, i realised that i have the wrong interpretation of the term 'paranoid'. I have always been using it to describe my inferiority or diffidence, while in psychiatry, it actually means a phenomena in which somebody has a pervasive pattern of distrust or suspicion of others, e.g. someone wants to harm you. Haha okay, now that i knew better, i'll use it appropriately.

In the evening, thank you Allah S.W.T for a beautiful weather yesterday, our intensive training for Sukad has eventually started. But no game yet, it's back to the basic training first. We were trained like a 5 year-old, catching balls with our bare hands while the coach made us run across the court. The main focus was the footwork. To be able to give a nice stroke, one must know the appropriate distance to stop and form a proper stance. This is a very useful practice for me as i'm prone to lose balance when striking the ball. So most of the time i looked like playing aggressively while i was actually just trying to make the ball touch the racquet while being a foot away from the proper distance. And it makes me lose my breath faster. Once i excel in footwork, it'll help me to strike the ball right at the contact point, thus the ball will always go where the belly button points when i make impact. And the training comes with 3 rounds of sidesteps around two courts, too. (-.-") Oh well. Hope today will be as 'scorching' as yesterday, so our training can resume.

At night, Ady, Yana, Mira, Aina and me went to Celana Villa, for a fine dining. Introduced by Mira, so she say where her boyfriend always bring her to, it was in a quite remote area in Pulau Melaka. The food was okay, but the 'ayam lemon' is a bit off. It taste like chicken dippped in sunquick. eekkk!! But overall i was satisfied with the newy-discovered dining spot. ;D

Haha okay i'm late for clinical case presentation. Toodle loo!!

.sunshine and rainbow.

"Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise."

Benjamin Franklin

I was early to bed last night and manage to wake up early today.

It seems like a good day, don't you think? :D

.just around the corner.

SPM is! I have just remembered it just now and made a 5-minutes card for Abang Chik.

Haha i know, i know, it's pathetic. But hey, it's a less-than-5-minutes work. Wha'd you expect? ;P And besides, if i have an elder sister, i think i'd be glad to receive even a pathetic-looking soft card from her for my exam motivation.

To those who's sitting for SPM,  i wish you all the best. And to those whose brothers or sisters are, let's pray for their success. And for those who are in no bussiness of this year's SPM league, please, out of pure charity, pray for my brother's tranquility in answering and may he get good results.

p/s: just send them the wishes. even if it's in the ugliest form of creativity you have forged. ;)

.urim and thummim.

Good day! :)

Ok. Popular bookstore is now officially a forbidden place for me.

I can't set a foot in there without getting hooked by at least 2 titles! And considering the current balance in my acct, i'm relatively paying through the nose for them!

I have just shelved another 3 Paulo Coelho's (uuu..the dark green nots..uhuk uhuk..) with 1 still unread (have just started by 2 pages) Yet, i had a very hard time setting my feet OUT of the store, drooling over "South Africa, The Wild Paradise" by Franck Fouquet. And to those who are still wondering my next birthday prezzie, surprise me with "Travelers' Atlas" by Dorsling Kindersley (publisher)! I'll love you infinitely!! :D

Okay..so how has the week been. Let see..CFCS done...(oh no! the neverending data & community programme reports!), books read (fictions people, fictions,) flu recovered, and watched lotsa Hindi films! Haha what has got into me? Hollywood to Bollywood?? Blame Powell Roy and Renuka for this! ;P I was housemate with Renuka and Atiq during CFCS and happen to transfer loads of Hindi movies from Renuka. The aftermath - fallen for Shah Rukh Khan again, haha, since the ancient "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai". I was hooked for no romance reason okayy..there were actually a lot that i can learn by bollywood movies, so i realised. In "ChakDe! India", i discovered that someone looking like Seh Kee (my coursemate) may have been an Indian! By nationality/origin & may speak by the language of Hindi!! These Indians might easily be mistaken for other nationality and treated as aliens in their own country, should they ever go to the Western India or other part than the Northeastern India. North-East India is ethnically, linguistically and culturally very distinct from the other states of India. And according to Wikipedia, this region is officially recognized as a special category of states. Its states consist of Arunachal Pradesh, Assam, Meghalaya, Manipur, Mizoram, Nagaland, Sikkim and Tripura. They speak by the mothertongue of Assamese, Bengali, Bodo (yes, it's a language) and Manipur. So as i googled and google-mapped, it was just, wow. What a beautiful, diversed world we live in.

In "Om Shanti Om!", i noticed a line that is exactly what i read in Coelho's "The Alchemist". As Shah Rukh Khan say, "when you really want something, the world will help you to come to that.", Coelho has also wrote in his #1 bestseller, similarly, "And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." and i thought, the scriptwriter must've read Coelho.

Haha so i think i'll keep feeding my Bollywood crave by getting good ones from Renuka. ;P

And oh, my double-become-triple room now is double room again. Ira has got a room for herself, after she had been working hard for it the past 5 months. The funny thing is, for the previous months, whenever she go to HEP's Kak Syikin or Murni's Mr.Ismadi, the answers she'll get are just, "there's no more room", "we have nothing to offer." Once she went to Mr. Ismadi with her uncle, who happens to be a friend of HEP big boss Mr.Hafiz, Mr.Ismadi straight away gave her a list of 5-6 rooms with unoccupied beds. What the fish! So the offices are in a conspiracy to always make things hard for students or what? Unbelievable. For 5 friggin months! Despite her effort she got nothing, and suddenly that.

I can't deny the relief of having less people in the room , though. :P

And btw, i was approached by Abg Mie for this year's Sukad Female Tennis captain.

I.

Do.

NOT.

Want.

This.

Arggghh!!! But i don't know to whom shall i shove entrust the post to. It'll be irresponsible for me to just say no without suggesting a replacement. In this year's team, there are two 5th year (exam), two 3rd year (exam), and a 2nd year (freshie in the team, never been to Sukad, can't let her handle).

So u see, Arggghh!!! Darn it.

I don' t know. Now i just try not to think about it. I just go to the court and play.

Urim and Thummim. Be it white, or black? Black. Please.

p/s: i am just referring to the fiction's urim thummim by the way. nothing israelite biblical shall i do. i'll stick to solat istikarah, thanks. :)

.crush alert.

Err..think i got just a tiny little..(okay, HUGE) crush on Mr. Sani Sayuthi (the next John Tharakan??) Master of Surgery (Neurosurgery) YuEshEm.

He.

Is.

a.

Neurosurgeon.

NEUROSURGEON!!!

(L.O.C. for 0.2 second)

Oh why oh why is it his last class...?

p/s: hehe sorry babyy, of course u know better. ;P

.Hush hush, I'm here.

There are times, when necessity overcome pride. And that is also when, i must come to understand thoroughly the soul of friendship, and assist in maintaining both.