.private.

I reviewed my 1^st blog today. I contemplated on the actual initial impetus of me starting a blog (no, the tennis match was just the starter, not the real initial drive).

And I remembered.

 

Years ago, when I was still writing in, (a diary), I’ve always thought, how nice if somebody can give feedbacks on how my life’s going on, advices, maybe, without actually having me to bable ‘em off directly to them first, which may cause them to feel responsible of saying nice things, (which is what good peeps always do, thank u dears). After a while, since I was first introduced to journal writing by my English tutor, Sir Hashim in form 2,  writing in without anything to happen but the stories of my life be in pages, had seemed rather boring to me. I wanted feedbacks, as I thought they might help me to improve.

I was thinking, how nice if, there are people from somewhere far (might not just mean geographically), who’s leading a different kind of life, in a different kind of environment, to give comments on my ‘diary’.  Opinions, from people who are total strangers to me, who don’t know me at all, so that their comments on me, would be purely by the events that happen, not by the me that they know.  And also, as cowardice as it may sound, I think writing anonymously is better for me to express, nor to impress.

 

Then I found out about blog. After reading a few overseas bloggers’ pages, it occurred to me that this is it! An online diary! But I was still reluctant. The stories that I have read seemed so purposeful, such like, they ought to be told, as they may inspire others or give effect on others’ life. And I was thinking, I don’t deserve to write in here. There’s nothing to be gained by my story.

 

Then I read a local writer’s blog. As I read her entries, I thought that, I can relate to her narrations, and yet they seemed purposeful, and no nonsense babblings. So I think, maybe I can just write whatever in here, for it may seemed purposeful for others, if not to myself. So I wrote. After a while, as peeps around me discovered the blog, i began rambling about things that I think I don’t even want to pour in a diary of mine. Or so to say, I don’t express anymore, coz it seems rather ‘unprivate’.

 

I admit that in my ‘free’ time I wrote my random ramblings, and reading them, I considered that some are just not to put in blogs –which I think as an online diary before – so they went either discarded or saved in the lappy. So my blog now kind of beats its purpose, kan? Oh well.