.priorities.

Assalamualaikum & good day peeps. =)

It's 4th day of ramadhan y'all! 3 down and another 27 days to go! Congratulations to ourselves. :D

During this Ramadhan season i'm blessed to have it at home, with my family and friends around. Proper food for sahur all the waaaayy. Alhamdulillah. =)

Well here i have a confession to make.

All this while, i have this scepticism on people who posts about the ibadah that they do in Ramadhan, although they meant well. For example when people posted up "hey terawikh time!" I have this thought like, "lorhh..sebenarnya nak gitaw dia gi terawikh tu" or when there this kind of post: "baca Quran jap after jemaah bagus gak an?" Again, i'd went "lorrrhh..org lain ade gak wat kot. xyah nak promo sgt lah."

Until the first day of Ramadhan, i was having a super malas time and was thinking to skip terawikh on that day. Then i see my dear Farah Ainaa's FB status:

pesta ibadah bakal bermula!!! ok excited :)) jomm2 seap pape yg patut.tolak tepi jap less0n plan l teaching aids l assignmnts sume bagaiii.kte serbu masjid t'dekat terawih start mlm nie keyh! mngkin ini ramadhan t'akhir kte wh0 kn0ws :'( Quran kasi khatam with0ut k0mpromi jugakx yerp! ;D

"tolak tepi jap.." make me realise that my priority at that exact moment should be mengejar pesta ibadah tu, instead of being selfish and lounging at home. And thus i decided to go to terawikh that night. A simple status update of a friend has made me change my mind. I can't imagine her share of pahala that she'd get that night. And I was jealous.

I was like, masyaAllah, this is an example of a true friend who shall keep reminding her friends and herself towards amar makruf. So instead of being sceptic about these kind of posts, i should get jealous of them and take the positive messages that they try to convey. Perhaps i can have my share too. :D

And today, while i was blogsurfing..(yeap, that's what i do all day today. heheh) found this heartmelting speech by Boona Mohammed. It makes me have some sort of 'epiphany' on my Priorities, especially in this holy month of Ramadhan. Hope we all get someting from this.

just in case u didn't get what he's sayin:

Priorities
Ya Allah if you should take me in my salat please take me as a believer,
I pray the angel of death appears half as beautiful
As half the beauty created by my creator,
Take me yesterday if it means I'll get there sooner.

The warm wet water still dripping from my wudu,
I beat the sun this morning in order to stand before you,
But no need to thank me, your praise is long overdue,
All I ask is that my intentions be clear and true.

The Ka'bah in line with my nose, hell fire under my toes,
If this it, please make these last prayers legit
For I am nothing but a servant please master give me guidance,
Bring me closer to your deen, far away from shaytain,
Only five times a day, I wish I could pray infinity
For all that you have given me; for all that you have taken away
There is no excuse for me to not want to stand up and say "Allahu Akbar"

I state the obvious, nervous, body in perfect formation
As I stand before my Lord trying to prove my dedication
Walking the thin line between hope and fear,
Words coming out crystal clear as though judgment was here,
The humility combats the lies I told in my youth,
In my sujood is when I am closest to truth
A vessel of submission, his recognition is my quest
Hands folded, both palms crossed facing my chest,
Gaze is lowered, on the spot from which my head will rise,
Wet warm water still covers my eyes.

I cherish this dunya, like I cherish sunny weather,
Wonderful at times, but still not meant forever,
So Ya Allah, if you take me in my salat,
Please have my last words be the last words of Al-Fatiha
Right before La ilaha illa Allah, Ashden Muhammadur Rasul Allah,
For you my God, I will hold and cherish this faith,
For this is a test, and we always do worst in the subjects that we hate,
So I am still amazed that you have given me the strength to praise,
For a long time I never prayed, never said your name for days
I am still ashamed of what my heart once contained,
But still you sent me blessings again and again,
Your mercy uses words that I can simply not explain
The honour that I feel, the love that I maintain

Forehead and nose, hands, knees and toes,
All pressed before the Lord, before I rose,
I choose to make a little prayer of my own,
Ya please Allah forgive me for my sins as though they were not my own,
Help me to pray as though I were saying my final goodbyes,
My bouncing finger lets me know I'm still alive, Alhumdulliah

Wallahi,
I swear to God, I do not feel comfortable swearing to God,
Because I'm not sure if my faulty words will even do him justice
So now everyday I send peace and blessings upon his prophet,
Empty my conscious like banks empty my pockets,
Only this interest is in my best interest
Were my prayers answered, only One knows best?
I'll try again soon, Insha'Allah
The rest is in the hands of Allah Subhanahu Wa-Ta'ala

That's all folks! *warnerbros style* Take care!

p/s: Dear Farah Ainaa, isn't it a blessing to have you by my side? Love you darla. =)

.The Traffic Ore.

Tadi blogsurfing. Jumpa satu blog kempen-kempen ohbelog.com.

Klik kat situ. Lepas tu macam tertarik dengan website tu kemudian daftar.

Lepas daftar follow la steps dia on how to benefit from the site kan. U know, the usual drill, letak link dia, and add widgets on your blog and whatnots.

On the next step, it asks you to post your stuff on the site, to promote your blog.

I'm clueless on how to do this since i do not know how to promote my blog.

It seems that i write what i write and if you want to read it, i let you read it.

Thus i browse through the posts from users who posted there.

Ok tajuk-tajuk yang memang tak mengundang my reading langsung.

I went, "WTH?" Semua ala-ala commercial blog ni. Tapi bila try klik tak ada la commercial sangat pun blog nya. Personal je. Then i suddenly realize.

I ain't gonna be no traffic whore.

p/s: No offense, peeps. We may agree to disagree. *eh, reminded me of a fellow blogger But Then Again.*

.United We Stand.

Assalamualaikum and good day all. :)

Today i put forward no original written thoughts. Just want to document here a good article i stumble upon in the net world, from TheVirtualMosque. I believe it's worth sharing. Heck I believe it's important to share, for some of us who'd like a lighter reading of food for thoughts, rather than chunks of heavy facts of history we'd find somewhere else and need time to process to come to this.

excerpts:

Within the fold of Islam, differences are not only tolerated—they’re encouraged as a mercy from God. But as soon as we label and marginalize any who disagree with us, our downfall begins. Once we accept and internalize these labels as our main source of identity, the result is disastrous. As a result, we create our own camps, attend only our own gatherings and conferences; soon enough, we’re talking only to those who agree with us. Dialogue within the ummah disappears, our differences become only more polarized and our views become more extreme. Before long, we stop caring about what happens to the ‘other’ group of Muslims around the world, as we amputate limbs from the unified body our prophet taught us we were. The ‘other’ (who happen to still be our brothers) become so foreign—even despised—that we no longer wish to be referred by the same family name, and even join our enemies against them.

I hope you can take the time to read the full article here.

“Modernism, not traditionalism, is what worked for the West. This included the necessity to depart from, modify, and selectively ignore elements of the original religious doctrine.”

Our enemies “summon one another to attack [us] as people, while eating, invite others to share their food.” (Abu Dawud)

“And hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together and do not become divided” (Qur’an, 3:103).

It all mean one thing:

Unite. And STAY UNITED.

.the world doesn't revolve around me.

It's a statement, it's true, and it's how it naturally is.


Although I know, that in happy moments I am not forgotten,

yet,

in difficult moments I am not trusted

nor am I reached, in quiet moments

like how I was not made aware of the painful moments.


I should be happy that I am not some toilet paper. Shouldn't I?

.Age Is Just a Numbah.

Or so they say.

Let me tell you why I fear getting above 20.

Being 19, I think I'm allowed to get confused. I can always try, and mistakes are to be expected. Being 20, I just feel that we should already know things. It's like, someone telling me, "o just pick one already". I'm not allowed to stop at a junction, stare at the crossroads sign and contemplate, for there are just so much more to get through further ahead.

At 23, whenever I have some unsettled things inside my head, it's the same voice telling me constantly, making me more and more nervous, urging me to choose and NOT make mistake. It's like you're a pilot of Boeing747, and if you push the wrong button, all 359 passengers are going down.

Responsibility is such a big word. I believe it's true for most people. For a rather clueless girl like me, making choices is still a huge panic trigger. I once sweat, literally, when deciding wether i wanted to eat lunch at cafe or in my room. The same thing happened when i tried to decide wether i should allow my brother to go out with his friends when my parents left me in charge. I was already 22 at that time. But of course this doesn't happen all the time. I still manage to get most of my routine done without all the troublesome decision. Yet it still bothers me to grow up and have to make choices. Coz i'd still like mama to choose the suitable fabric for my Hari Raya apparels. Still wants my mama to tell me how many pots of rice to cook for a 5-people dine or 16 people dine...etc.

But I can't rely on others forever, can i? Sooner or later people may refer to me for advice or instructions like that. The stressful thing is, i don't know when or why my mind was set that 'training' time is over once 20 years old. Pass that, it's time to bring it to the table, act adult-like, and just do. I mean, aren't failures are to be applauded for you can learn from it? *sigh*

However instead of pitying my gerascophobic self, i might as well fight the panicking urge to make perfect decisions at the back of my head and grow old and wise, right? Keep moving forward, baby. :)

Have a great holiday, peeps. While there's still time. Eheh.

So, umm..

Assalamualaikum and good day, people.

Have you ever been warned, "don't immerse yourself in too much joy for sorrow will follow.."

Atau dalam bahasa Melayunya, "suka suka, nangis..."

Well it might a little, applied to me right now.

Remember how happy i was in my last entry? It didn't last that long since i lost 3 of my cute lil guppies right after i came back from KL. :'(

I bought myself those guppies in May when i decided i might be a lil lonely if i were to stay and study at home along the sem break. Had a hemisphere see-through bowl for them, a classic, added a few waterplants, and calling it their home - although after a while felt pity for them to swim in such tiny house and when i have money i want them to have a better spaced tank. Tapi tak sempat.. huaaaaa!!!! sobs.

I couldn't believe i forgot to take them with me to Kuantan. So far i've travelled with them whenever we left our house unattended, like going back to kampung, stay in KL and such. But that day i somehow forgot about them altogether, leaving them 3 days without food. Omg i was being cruel! I tought about them when i was in Kuantan, wishing they would still be okay. How wrong i was when i came back and saw 2 of my gupppies floating with their tiny tummy facing the surface. :'( I quickly sprinkled the fish food for the only one left. But she's not eating. Maybe she's too upset to eat, or she just hates me by then. I cleaned the bowl, gave her fresh environment, sprinkled more food, but after a while she still didn't eat it. And to add salt to the wound, she died the day after. :'( Bubbye me guppies... I named them but since i didn't recognize the fishes anyway, i gave up the names. I haven't even taken pictures with them for the memories.

Oh how can i be this mean?? What am i going to answer when i'm being questioned on the Judgement Day for being irresponsible of three unfortunate lives that i have caused to end? I can only pray that they'll be happier wherever they are now and that i may be forgiven.

I'm sorry guppies..truly am.. :'(

It suddenly occurs to me,

That i am living the era in which people quote Gossip Girl, and Forrest Gump quite often, rather than Marie Curie, or Marthin Luther King Jr, or Che Det.

.The day that went away.

Assalamualaikum and good day! :)

Today is one of the few days that i woke up early after Subuh prayer. Yay for me. After looking through (or maybe just looking at, i'm not sure, based on my state of mind at that time) the Guyton Physiology and Kumar Med book, i went to the Sunday market to buy some staple food for the week, and get home and the rest was ordinary (and by ordinary i mean CSI, Leverage, House, a few AFCs', napping, blog-surfing, gardening, garage work, blahblah).

And tonight, as you may have noticed, i tried to change my blog skin. I like the colour of the current one. However i can't make the bloglist to appear at its supposed place like it used to be. But whatever, i hardly look at them anyway, since wordpress has no (or my free version don't have it) the blog update, i often go to other fella's blogger blog to see who's updating so i can read the latest. But i'm still not satisfied with it. Maybe i'll pick a time to re-do them. Tengoklah macam mana nanti. (seriously gaya orang pemalas dah sekarang ni).

Btw, i think i'm being a jerk this week. Aih..

I have GOT to find a way to stop this. Before all hell breaks loose, i better be nice to people.