.it's the climb,baby.

1st week of repro. Baru 1st week, and i'm mashed. Juggling between recent notes, prev semester's, elective-group-funds stuffs, studygroup, and japanese classes..htd stuffs.. no wonder i'm no VIP. If i put myself in any of the hicom's shoes, lagi2 the ones with multiposts, i don't think i can handle it well. *sigh*

*Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high


Has been a while since i last step into the tennis court. Missing it much. Feel a slight guilt towards Abg. Mie n the seniors generous with their tennis skills before. Not playing means not practicing, means i might have forgot the techniques they have spent time teaching me before. Means it's gonna be quite long while for me to get better at the game, and might put everyones' previous effort to waste. Although it's the real deal, me having japanese classes in the evening, and when we're supposedly free of the class, something else equally important came up, i still feel embarassed explaining it to Sahrul last nite, coz i think i look like giving endless excuses for not turning up to practice. My fault maybe, not organizing well of my time. Apelah~


*There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,


I miss the debate club too. The late-nite discussions, mind-probing tongue-lashing sessions, debate matches with other uni.. I was supposed to be in a match in Dungun on 25th June, but i've mistaken the date with 25th of July (as on the actual date we're still in our sem-break so i thought..), i was cancelled, or more to 'cancelled myself' from the debating team for the match. Bodo betul. Salah tarikh pulak, dah terlepas.
When they (debate team) were having meeting pulak, i wasn't informed coz i accidentally left my hp at home. Bodo jugak sikit coz asyik lupa barang2 sendiri. Ggaaaa~!!


*I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong.


And now it seems like things arent exactly in their place yet.
My mind is sometimes blank, sometimes like this: ->


I sometimes don't know what am i thinking about at times. Airheaded. In the pbl, i explained the mestrual cycle graphs like crap. Tu lah ingat dah hafal, tp tertido pula semasa revision. 14th day=menstruation. What the~ lah.. Budak yang belum SPM pun tau kot..


*The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I'm not breaking


...&*^&&%%*...
.......(T.T).........

Hey hey wake up! Asyek merungut aje. Miserable people make other people miserable tawu!! All's gonna be for the better! When are you gonna learn that haa?
Don't worry Iliana, you'll be fine. Keep moving forward.

So sing it,
LOUD!!!!

MILEY CYRUS - the CLIMB.
I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it

Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,

Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong.



You are soooo not the worst case, budak.

.cinta sempurna.

Cinta Sempurna by Yuna.

Aku manusia lemah

Selalu terjatuh

Berbeda aku darimu

Kau berdiri teguh.

Aku serba tiada

Aku kekurangan

Dan bila kau tiba

Aku hilang dari kewujudan.

Bukan aku tak pernah

Mengerti dirimu

Ku sanjung setiap kata cinta

Kau berikan aku.

Hilangkan rasa itu

Akhirkan semua

Dan bila kau sedar

Aku hilang dari kewujudan.

Sempurnanya sifatmu

Tulusnya hatimu

Jujurnya niatmu

Tingginya kesabaranmu.

Lepaskanlah diriku

Kerna aku tak mampu

Menanggung sebuah cinta sempurna

Darimu… darimu.

Was taking a break from studying (ehem2. see I made me sound so hardworking there? Haha I wish baba’s reading this. lol) when this song knocked wave on my tympanic membrane. So I payed more attention to the lyrics rather than the previous ones aired during study time, when I wasn’t singing along.

At first I hear it, I thought it has religious soul and meaning or something,

“Aku serba tiada

Aku kekurangan

Dan bila kau tiba

Aku hilang dari kewujudan.

Sempurnanya sifatmu

Tulusnya hatimu

Jujurnya niatmu

Tingginya kesabaranmu.”

Kan, kan? I mean, who’s perfect?

But then, there’s this

“Lepaskanlah diriku

Kerna aku tak mampu

Menanggung sebuah cinta sempurna

Darimu… darimu.”

Who wants to be AWAY from His love?

So I figured, it’s a ‘humane’ love song. Hehe..

I bet it’s the nature of every couple. You know, to feel that their partner is perfect. Nobody else is. The one. Thus love flows unconditionally (you think).

But there’s sayings that pointed out, ‘do not hate too much for you might love then, and do not love too deep for you may eventually hate’. Ever heard of that before? I think it was hadith or something, but I don’t dare to say so without further research, I might be blamed for putting up false hadith. Yikes!

Listening to the song, I think someone may have loved a little bit too deep, (i know, some of you might be thinking, "love too deep"? is that even possible?) that he may have ‘intimidated’ the partner who is still insecure about herself. Not everyone is at the same level of everything. Even in loving. It’s not “love me back”. It’s “let me love”, and you allow one to reciprocate at his/her own pace. And if you love, you have faith. In one, for he/she may too, and in God, for you know there’s the best for you even it’s not him/her.

Just now, “it’s nature for lovebirds to feel that their partner is perfect.” So what happens when one feels insecure about his/herself?

It’s not doubt about ‘the one’, it’s just that, one may not love ultimately when he/she is yet to love him/herself. When someone thinks like that, you know one started to feel the ‘receiving’ is too much than the ‘giving’. And one would rethink about him/herself. And when you are in a diverged point of life, you know that there’s one path, usually less traveled by, to turn to. I’m not trying to be a goody-two-shoes, saying that only God knows best. But hey, we all know He is.

Well that’s my opininon. From my little much knowings.

You are insecure Because

Your belief is not sustained

By the inner faith.

You are insecure

Because

Your faith is not sustained

By the unconditional surrender.

You are insecure

Because

Your surrender has not

Breathed the life of oneness supreme.

Excerpt from “Dance of Life Part 4” by Sri Chinmoy